I’m in a room, sat crossed legged on a wooden floor. To my right there is a wood burning fire warming the room, cocooning everyone from the outside cold. Through the window I can see snowflakes gently falling, I imagine twirling outside catching snowflakes on my face and hair as I look up to the sky. My attention returns back to the room, on the wall there is a question chalked on a blackboard “Tell Me What Love Is” – I’m in the right place. Before me is a dear friend, angelic, soft and wise. We exchange poetic notions of love, self love, connecting our hearts. “Love is feeling like a snowflake, love is my heart beating out of my chest, love is nurturing, love is like a glitter ball”. I’m radiating, beaming, I’m in a very happy place.
We change partners, this time I’m sat on a chair opposite a man with a beautiful and kind face. There are no words, we sit in silence. I’m nervous, my breathing goes funny and legs begin to shake. I move forward in my chair to ground my feet to the floor. My legs are too short or the chair too high and so only my toes can kiss the ground, deep breath. He speaks confident words of love, gentle words of love, warming words of love. Deep breath. I exchange distracted thoughts, I’m fearful, I don’t want to be found out, he must not know that I find him attractive because that makes me vulnerable to rejection. I speak out my fears, not fully but enough to communicate that I’m nervous. Deep breath. From deep within my love suggests that I stop the words and just be. We sit in silence, eyes gazing. Love binds us, connects us. No need for words.
Love is getting out of my head and into my body, it is a felt experience.
I’ve been in a state of absolute bliss all week. I met someone last weekend who blew my mind, it has been a long time since I have said that about someone. I have felt alive, full, tingly, energised. Love is allowing myself to drink this feeling in, absorbing it and letting it rest in my heart. Love is sharing this expansive amount of affection with friends and family. Love is being stopped in my tracks, reflecting, painting futures, analysing power dynamics….wait…love is NOT over analysing and love is NOT expectation because with expectation comes pressure and disappointment.
Love is getting out of my head and into my body.
Actually romantic love is completely in your head, it is a bunch of hormones and neurotransmitters that are released in the brain as you glide through the 3 stages of relationship, from lust to attraction to attachment. It is ALL in our head, the addictive dopamine, delicious oxytocin and relaxing endorphins. We are animals see, the love chemicals in our brains are evolutionary and has enabled the human race to survive.
You’ll be forgiven then if you think that love can be confusing. Do I find love confusing? When I’m in my head I do. When I’m in my body I dance through my room, flowing through the space, hands reaching to the stars, feet touching the earth with grace. Love is being present with yourself, noticing. When I’m in my body I can access love anytime, deep in my heart a warm glowing light shines and I can share it with those that I cross paths with; friends, family or lover.
I am love, you are love.