Love, Menstrual Magic

Competition and Sisterhood

When I was younger, I learnt to compete with my older sister to receive love. What I learnt was that if I am the shiniest, the brainiest and the most creative then I would receive more love than my sister. Now, I am of the belief that the patterns that are programmed in our childhood play out in our adult relationships.

Never before have I felt so blessed to be in connection with a network of incredible women. Friendships forming and deepening based on mutual love and respect, empowering each other to shine brightly. But it’s not all sunshine and roses….

My inner child see’s someone shinier, she see’s someone else singing with more grace, she see’s someone more intelligent. She feels threatened, her strategy for getting love is failing. Jealousy comes out to play, a powerlessness shows its face, anger bangs on my belly. Disconnection happens. Withdrawal. The space between us becomes messy. This isn’t the sisterhood I aspire to be a part of.

Inner Autumn of the menstrual cycle is all about facing our shadow and I’ve had an interesting time looking at all of this stuff this weekend. I’ve felt some uncomfortable feelings seeing my jealousy, my desire for power, my fear of not belonging and my sometimes desperate need for love emerge.

Luckily, I trust the women in my life enough to bring this sticky stuff out of the shadow to be looked at with them, to be processed so that it can all be properly integrated into my psyche. The more I can accept the darkness within me, the more I can accept you and all that you bring into the space.

Having the awareness and willingness to be curious about the points of disconnection, the charges we have with people, the feelings of discomfort the other person illicits in us enables healthier and more intimate relationships. Having the courage to own our shadow enables a sisterhood of real connection, of unity, of growth, of equals, recognising each of our strengths and supporting each others challenges.

We all have a place to shine.

Photo by Julie Johnson on Unsplash

Body, Menstrual Magic, Spirit

Power + Vulnerability = Empowerment

Our inner seasons of spring and summer are a period of ‘healthy egoic development’. We are expanding, rooting ourselves out in the material world, stepping into our power and claiming our energetic space. The positive aspects of our psyche shine, connecting to the outside world, sharing our gifts, being seen…here I am world, I am amaaaaazing.

I’m in my inner summer and I had a little chuckle to myself yesterday as I observed my ego saying “you’re great, you’re amazing, you’re really good at this, you’re the best”. On one hand, it is very lovely that my inner chatter was so positive. I recognised though that if I had fed that voice then it would have become an inflated sense of self.

One of the best and possibly one of the most kick my ass hardcore lessons I have learnt this past year is that with expansion can come a period of contraction. The more I can feel the blissful, joyful connection of life, the more I experience the depths of my own pain. The more I step into my power, the more of my vulnerability will emerge.

The menstrual cycle models this beautifully. Once we have built ourselves up through spring and summer, the laws of nature then nudge us into Autumn. All that has been built in the first half of the cycle then gets stripped bare. It’s like consciousness knows it is not healthy to stay in the fullness of our egoic state so it draws our energy inwards, forcing us to slow down, to see what isn’t working, stripping our ego, letting things go and moving towards emptiness. The reward is that in the emptiness of our inner winter, we can experience bliss, melt into existence, be in connection with love, with the divine.

For me, being an empowered person is about being able to experientially know the fullness of my power, my wholeness, my epic awesomeness and to hold it in balance with the depths of my vulnerability, my shadow, my pain, my terror. The menstrual cycle allows you to experience both sides, the light and the shadow. Through awareness you can integrate the experience of power and vulnerability, bringing a beautiful empowered humbleness to your human experience.

I’ll be sharing more about menstrual cycle awareness at an event called Pamper Day for the Soul in Brighton on 6th October in Brighton alongside 5 other wonderful women. For more information visit our website.

Photo by Fuu J on Unsplash