The Body Love Battle

When I woke up this morning and looked in the mirror, I really saw the depth of my own beauty and could see my body with kindness and love. Hallelujah – because my inner body critic has been super present recently….and it is exhausting battling her.

When I’m feeling grounded, I can rest in my body, be in a place of love and acceptance and really experience my inner radiance and vitality. If I feel off balance, or a bit wobbly on the inside (like I have recently) then this is the time where my body critic comes to the foreground. I’ve learnt that my body image struggle goes beyond my actual body and goes beyond the food that I choose to eat (although it plays a key role in how I feel about myself). I now know that this fixation on my body simply masks a deeper feeling of vulnerability. When my perceived “faulty” body becomes a stuck record in my head, I hear it as a screeching alarm announcing that there is a part of me that is feeling scared and vulnerable and that something needs to be shared or acknowledged from within. When the voice underneath my critic has been heard and my inner needs are responded to, then the strength of my critic dissolves. I know that the fixed complaint is NEVER just about about my body, a whirlwind of emotion is cooking up on the inside.

Over the past year, I have been questioning… who is this body critic part, whose voice does it represent, why is this part so active at certain times and not at others? The answers have enabled me to understand my process – especially when I’m in the thick of it when my inner critic is boss. When I’m in battle with her, I have a crack of light peering through the negative illusion, the awareness of truth shining through. It takes practice, and a commitment to be with myself. When I’m feeling a bit bleurgh then this is exactly the time not to abandon myself, to be with myself in my struggle, frustration and mess, knowing that these feelings will pass once I can hold my vulnerable parts with tenderness and love.

The body love journey continues…..

Photo by Bekir Dönmez on Unsplash

Love, Menstrual Magic

Craving the Masculine

For the past 5 months I have noticed that there is a specific time in my menstrual cycle where I seek external comfort and holding from the masculine. Reaching out for support is completely OK, something I’d encourage even – I’m curious about what’s underneath my motivation to connect at a time when I feel a bit wobbly on the inside though. Inner parenting has been a significant part of my tantra journey, learning ways to hold the vulnerable part of myself so that I can connect with people from a more adult place.

In this video I explain how I re-directed my craving inwards to create my own holding and inner support. I feel so grateful for having an awareness of how these patterns show up in my cycle. It makes my unconscious behaviours visible and enables a deeper choice in how I interact with the people in my life.

Photo by Michael Fenton on Unsplash