Love

Dating as a Spiritual Practice

Swimming in a reservoir, getting wild amongst the long grass, picnics under a large oak tree, sipping fresh mint tea whilst munching on homemade snickers – wowee, dating is so.much.fun.

After three years of being single and a deep dive into understanding what love is, I’d say I’m now primed for dating. I know what happens to my body when I fall in love, I understand my attachment system, I have a complete re-framing and understanding of my sexuality. So, it’s definitely time for me to put all of this learning into practice beyond a workshop context and go out into the real world. Hurrah.

There is only so far you can go on the path of discovery alone.

I keep saying to people that dating feels like the ultimate spiritual practice, exploring myself in connection with these delicious humans. Uncovering the truth of who I really am, who I believe myself to be, what limiting beliefs I may be holding in relation to the other. Can my radiance shine from within, do I feel alive in their company, am I relaxed, am I shut down and fearful? Am I in my adult woman, or do I shrink like a child? Am I playful, can I communicate freely and express my desires with calm confidence? Where are the connection points – are we in our mind with lots of words or can we just rest in the silence between us. How readily does my heart open or contract. Where are the areas of separation? Where do I feel not good enough, where does shame pop by and say hello, where am I giving my power away? All such wonderful golden nuggets of awareness.

I’m flexing my dating muscles by asserting my boundaries, turning up the volume on my inner father if I get a sense of a situation not serving me. I was talking to a man and he kept bringing sex into the conversation very early on. It became clear to me that this is not what I want in my interactions and so I expressed that with respect and moved on. I met one man who I never would have had the confidence to meet before my love enquiry. I met another man who I had a beautiful connection with. I observed as my attachment system got activated – getting swept up in the sea of hormones which took days for my nervous system to settle back into equilibrium. It is so fascinating – dating… there is soooo much that goes on under the surface when relating with another person. I’m so flippin grateful to have the awareness tucked into my back pocket.

Just show up is my motto, whether I am low energy, feeling ecstatic, embodying a total Goddess or feeling body conscious… just show up and be me. Not the pretending to be a version of me that I think might get me love. Just the organic me in the moment, the sometimes shy, sometimes hyperactive, sometimes grounded human being me.

Dating as a spiritual practice…I like this ♥

Ooooooh so YUM.

Love

Lovability

Last year was about expansion and understanding the full power of being a woman. This year there has been contraction… nature moving through me, I open and I close. There has been such gold for me in this contracted place. As my external life crumbles out of perfection and into chaos I am faced with the source of my own loveability. Falling into my default core beliefs of unworthiness, unloveable, not enough-ness. I check myself out in this place, curious about how my body feels here, how my emotions are, how my thoughts are. How my automatic ways of being drive me towards the things that will get external love and validation. The awareness brings me choice, I’m at ground zero, I can choose to move forward as I was or build myself up from a very different place. Blossoming out into spring, with gold in my hand and love in my heart and a humble power from this contraction. The light, the shadow both so rich in it’s teachings. An invitation to deeply love myself in the chaos and the perfection – what a wonderfully important initiation this is turning out to be….